But lately, my pleasures have been dampened and, some days, completely overwhelmed by the challenges of feeding two pre-schoolers. Our kids are picky, but in odd ways. For example, Rudy won't eat vegetables...unless they are raw, in which case he will eat (and love) almost anything, including kohlrabi. I don't think I'd even seen a kohlrabi until I was thirty.
 |
| kohlrabi, the alien vegetable from outer space |
He won't eat things that are mixed up with one another, unless it's peanut butter and jelly or syrup on waffles or something of that ilk. He hardly eats any meat at all and is completely averse to any kind of "messy food."
And his sister is caught in that space of wanting to mimic everything her brother does, and also of gathering her nutrients from the air. Or from candy. She could eat her weight in candy.
At the start of this road to the Family Dinner, I was absolutely adamant that I wasn't going to be a short order cook, making four different meals. I was adamant that we were all going to sit down together every (or most every) night. I was positive that my kids would be good, adventurous eaters simply by virtue of being around me and Paul and the stuff we like.
But, we've had to take some detours. I was getting so upset at the uneaten delights I had so lovingly prepared out of kid cookbooks that I had to abandon the project of gourmand-making entirely. Now, Rudy eats oatmeal for breakfast every day and I don't lament the fact that he won't touch eggs. They both eat PB & J so often that we have to buy two or three loaves of sandwich bread every week. Some nights, I feed them and then Paul and I eat. Some nights, I let them watch Curious George while Paul and I eat first, enjoying a glass of wine and the sounds of their giggles (or squabbles) from the couch.
But some nights, we do sit down as a family. A lot of nights, actually. We always offer the kids a taste of what we're having, but have no expectations that they will accept it. We are trying to trust that they will find their tastes on their own terms and in their own time. And indeed, somehow in the middle of all this finickiness, they have both discovered a deep love for sushi! Yes, my weird kids won't eat plain noodles or rice half the time, but bring on the raw fish.
My hope is that by letting go of the angst I had cultivated around cooking and eating, and getting back to the pleasure I find in those things, we will all feel comforted and less frustrated at table.
Which brings us to the Thanksgiving meal. I knew going in that I was really only cooking for me and Paul, and honestly I was not terribly excited by the prospect at first. But I rallied and created a menu I knew I would love to cook and eat out of my Moroccan cookbook: Roast leg of lamb, couscous with almonds and dates, spaghetti squash with Moroccan spices and a lovely orange and olive salad that tasted like sunshine.
For the kids, chicken nuggets, raw cauliflower and grape tomatoes. And they barely touched it. And that was fine. They did enjoy the Nantucket Cranberry Pie (gotta have something traditional on Thanksgiving, right?) later on.
Before the meal, before all of our meals, we said our "gratefuls." This is how we've come to describe the moment of reflection or prayer or Thanksgiving that we think ought to precede any meal. Sometimes Josephine will call on us to hold hands, and then we go around the table. Rudy almost always says he is grateful for "you and you and you," pointing to each of us in turn. Josephine is the one who will be grateful for the food in front of her, even though she will eat a bite and then fly away, little bird.
Paul and I are grateful for many things this year. For professional successes for us both, for healthy, growing kids and the time we get to spend with them which is more, we realize, than most parents get. We are grateful for our friendship which bolsters our marriage and makes it possible, after a snippy fight, for one of us to come back inside and say, laughing, "Well, that went badly. Let's start again!" We are grateful always for laughter and grateful in particular this year for employment.
We are grateful for our family and friends--all of you--and for telephone lines, and mail and email and Facebook and Skype and airplanes and automobiles that keep you all close (though we wish you were closer).
And finally, I am grateful that my husband, even though I know he hated the spaghetti squash and could have done without the dates in the couscous, ate a bit of each, praised the lamb, thanked me sincerely for cooking and then did all the dishes.
Happy Thanksgiving!
No comments:
Post a Comment