The Deadly Cow Chronicles: Part I

I know what you’re thinking — all globular proteins and phosphoproteins are the same! Well, it turns out that cow’s milk contains varieties of these proteins which around 8% of children under three have trouble digesting, and that these can find their way into the breast milk of a cheese-loving mother. Therein lies a story...

Sheila and I drove to Danville with Josephine this last Wednesday. Danville has a hospital which dwarfs our own. This is made all the more evident by the fact that Danville is quite a small town. The town seemed to consist of the hospital and a Wendy’s. Most of the town’s traffic flowed past the Wendy’s, through a park filled with historical plaques and corroding memorial howitzers, and into the Hospital parking lot. We followed this flow, and, once there, we had the option of taking a shuttle bus from the parking lot to the entrance closest to the pediatric gastroenterology center. It reminded me of a zoo or amusement park in that respect. We decided to walk, taking the “warm cut” (the temperature was in the 20s) through the nearest wing of the hospital. This was indeed a warmer option than the shuttle bus as it did not require a wait. It took maybe twenty minutes to navigate a maze of hallways to the other side of the facility where we could take the elevator to the third floor. Thankfully, we were early, and our destination was right by the elevator.

We sat in the waiting room while Josephine cried. The receptionist helpfully informed us that there might be a test requiring that Josephine have an empty stomach, so Sheila had to delay feeding her. She was hungry and less than pleased with her parents, the hospital staff, and most of the furniture. I counted the seconds to our appointment with the naïve hope that it would begin on time (only 4:27 seconds to go!) and, by a small miracle, our appointment began right on time. A nurse weighed her, tested her blood pressure, and distracted her from all the hunger, strange lights, and beeping sounds (I’m convinced the infant’s experience of going to the doctor resembles— perhaps uncoincidently- people’s reports of alien abduction).

Please stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!