Sibling Snapshots

Before Josephine was born there was a lot of speculating about how Rudy would take to having a sister. I figured there would be a breaking in period for sure, but that eventually whatever upset he felt would be supplanted by a lifelong relationship--hopefully one of the closest of his life. And whenever I would lament the ending of this particular time in our life--just me and him--I would be comforted by the fact that as he grows he likely will not remember a time without a sister. I certainly can't remember life without mine.

We did our best to prepare him--reading books about becoming a big brother, taking him to a sibling preparation class (which was silly, really)-- but I'm not sure anything can prepare a two-year-old (or a 37-year-old, for that matter!) for the immense change that comes when an infant takes up residence in your house.

Now three months into that residence, I want to pause and document some of the process. The day he came to the hospital to meet her, his first words, as he handed her the gift of a stuffed bear/blanket were, "Here Josephine, this is for you!" Sweet. This was followed immediately by the command, "I want to hold it right now!" It. Well, he's only two; he doesn't really get pronouns yet. He did hold her and that moment is pictured in one of the earliest posts here. It looked like a promising start!

However, since that day he has thrown a toy school bus at her, held his hands over his ears while she cried, exclaiming, "I don't like that sound!" (me neither, kid); kicked her in the head hard enough for her to feel it; and, most infamously, tried to physically separate her from me, saying, "Don't nurse Josephine, Mama. It's dangerous!"

Of course things aren't always that adversarial. He will now occasionally insist on helping me burp her or bring her a toy when she's fussing. One evening when I was closing the door to his room before bedtime and Paul was downstairs consoling her sobs, he looked at me and said, "I think my sister's crying." This stopped me. It was the first time he had acknowledged the relationship between them.

It has been on my mind during all of this that I should be trying to take pictures of them together, but besides that first sweet image, this is the only one I've managed to capture:




Well, I suppose it does speak to most sibling relationships at one point or another, huh?

Today though, a milestone: completely without prompting, Rudy walked over and gave Josephine a smooch on the cheek. No camera nearby, but even still I expect I'll carry the picture of that moment with me for a long, long time.